#36 - FlyingSporks IV

Now I'm off for a bit. Celebratory dancing shall herald my return, I promise.

In response to Anonymous.

Last night I received this delightful little comment on my webcomic, constructively criticizing my artwork and suggesting some improvements I could make.

"You are a man-hating clit-liking dyke queer scum. Eat my ass!!!"

Wow. I just love comments like that. They say so much.

1. 'Man-hating'. Certainly not, or I would not have had a boyfriend for nearly two years now, counted a male as on one my very best friends or have said, on multiple occasions, that women should have the same rights as men - for surely, if men are so terrible, why would I want to be equal, when us man-haters should just grind them into the dirt and RUUUULE THEEEEM AAAALL?! You, on the other hand, have shown yourself to be either woman hating, lesbian hating or feminist hating, the last two being subsections of the first. In other words, you are either sexist, a homophobe or both. Whichever one it is, you should know that that makes you the LEAST socially acceptable and most backwards of the two of us. Congratulations.

2. 'Clit-liking'. Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do have a clitoris, and so to hate it would be to hate a part of myself, which I refuse to do. Nor do I have a problem with clitorises in general, as they are a natural part of most women in the world, not some horrible disease to be removed.
As we have already established, you are some sort of wanker, which means that, in addition to being obnoxious and narcississtic, you make a regular habit of lovingly fondling your penis for a period of time, like millions of far more applaudable men worldwide. Normally, to spend so much care and attention over anything would suggest that one likes this thing very much - and thus, I deduce, you are a penis-lover. Following your line of 'argument', that also makes you gay - as you like penises, in particular your own - but as a possible homophobe I don't think you'd take very well to that suggestion. If you are a female (which I don't think you are, but I'd like to cover all possibilities) then replace the word 'penis' with 'clitoris' and 'men' with 'women'in the above.
Put simply, I do not not consider being told that you like your own genitalia as being an insult, though you clearly do.

3. 'Dyke-queer scum'. For the record, I have not yet established my own sexuality. I veer towards bisexual at times, but considering the presence of a much-loved boyfriend in my life, I think that it is safe to rule out the idea that I am a straight-out lesbian. Even if I were to consider myself a dyke, then I certainly wouldn't consider myself scum - after all, I do not participate in the defining behaviour of 'scum', which is basically obnoxious and antisocial behaviour including, at the low end, posting malicious anonymous comments on a webcomic which has neither provocation nor grounding (what on earth does this webcomic have to do with sexism or lesbianism?) and at the high end includes people who actually go out and deliberately cause harm of one form or another to others - rapists, murderers, domestic abusers, playground bullies, muggers, stalkers and the current President of the United States, for example. You are expressing low-end behaviour. I hope that, at the very least, you go no further than trolling.

4. 'Eat your ass'. I'm sure you would love to do that yourself, although you may regret it later when your head gets cold due to the absence of its hat.

5. If you are one of my friends trying to wind me up, thankyou for giving me a chance to vent. Now don't do it again.

Now for a word from the artist

Sorry about the sparseness of actual comic updates recently, I've run out of both liquid ink and gel pens and can't find any fine-tipped felt tips in the house, all of which are suitable for the comic in a way that whiteboard markers are not. Not only are they big and thus bad for fine lines and eyes, but the fumes have strange effects on me.
At least my self-caricaturing's getting better.

#35 - I'm THAT lazy!

Yes, I know. In theory, I can do better. In practice, I'm just bone-idle. This is why I occasionally refer to NITM as 'my glorified stick-figures'.

Buy her some easy-listening music or something.